Sunday, August 2, 2009

Ok, so maybe I DON'T like living in the country...

I've hesitated to write this post. I guess I was worried that if I actually put it in print then it did indeed happen. But the fact I haven't taken off my shoes in 24 hours tells me that it did. It did happen. Let me give you a little background. Back when the kids were young we lived in Abilene, TX. Brian and I went to college there and moved back there when we were doing our payback time with the military. But that's neither here nor there and really has nothing to do with this story. Anyhoo, when we lived there 3 of my kids were 4ish, 2ish and like 8 months old. I could calculate it but its late and I just need to get this out. Anyway, we were all sitting on the floor in the living room when I saw a scorpion crawling on the carpet very near my babies. I FREAKED!!! I didn't realize this but I have an EXTREME phobia of those things. Not like..."Oh. Those are gross. Ew." I mean like hyperventilate freak out. I grabbed the closest thing to me which was a dumbbell and cremated that thing. But then proceeded to absolutely freak out. I remember calling the exterminator who knew me well and he made a special Saturday house call to spray again. Well, whatever. Cause it didn't work. There were more. I would not let any of my kids walk around without shoes on and I'm pretty sure I didn't sleep for the rest of our time there. I'm really not kidding. Brian about had it with me. It got so bad that Brian contacted a counselor for me to see who went to our church. I went to him a few times but when he told me that he would eventually put me in a room with a live scorpion, I bailed. I did. I mean, y'all. This is like a real live phobia. Anyway, we moved to the DFW area and those scorpions were all but a memory to me. Until yesterday. Oh, yesterday. How I wish I could do it all over again. I was getting ready to leave the house around noon and I realized that I had forgotten to feed the dogs. So I let them in and went and got their bowls. I came back in the kitchen and thought I saw a twig on the ground so I bent down to get it when I saw that it was in fact a scorpion. Dead. But a scorpion, none the less. I'm pretty sure I blacked out about then but I do remember LOTS of screaming. And Brian with the kids running into the kitchen to see what happened. When Brian realized what it was I'm sure he ran straight to the phone book to look up the closest mental hospital. I couldn't quit screaming y'all. It was awful. Brian got rid of it but I was completely done with life at that point. Couldn't calm down. Brian told me to call the exterminator(who by the way had just been at my house 5 weeks ago. When I first hired him we were deciding how often he should come he asked me how tolerant I was of bugs. Without telling him my issue I told him not very so he now comes quarterly) and I left a frantic message on the machine. Praise the Lord, I already had plans to be out of the house for the rest of the afternoon so I sort of calmed down while I was out. But the second I stepped back through the door, the fear crept back in. I was praying constantly....and was ok. Brian was gone with the kids to a movie and about a minute after they got home the exterminator called me back. He proceeded to tell me that the fact it was dead was a good sign that the treatment was working....that he didn't realize that I had such a phobia....that it probably crawled through a crevice and got in the spray he had sprayed...that he didn't need to come do an emergency break through treatment....all stuff that should make me calm. But it didn't. I went to tell Brian what he said and I found myself hyperventilating and sobbing. I was so mad and trying so hard to get control but I couldn't. You see...scorpions to me are not just an earthly nuisance. They invoke such fear in me it becomes spiritual. I was mad that I let the enemy make me afraid this way. I was mad that I couldn't just make myself NOT be afraid. Just MAD!! Anyway, after a good cry and asking the Lord to intervene I found myself not being so petrified. I wouldn't take my shoes off but I walked around my house speaking out loud(hope that doesn't offend anyone) that satan was under my feet and would NOT win. I would not give way to anxiety and fear. I wish I could say that I'm completely ok....I'm not. But I'm going to be. The Lord has made me MORE than a conqueror, as my sister reminded me. I'm just saying now...I will not live in fear!!

So some funny parts of this? Well, lets see. When Brian was trying to help me think rationally about this last night he said..."Whats the worst thing that would happen if one DID sting you?". I proceeded to tell him that I would probably die of a heart attack and he would be left to raise the kids on his own. I'm not dramatic!

And why is it when you tell people about a fear you have they think its an open door to tell you the experience they've had with what you are fearful of. My exterminator did that. People. I'm just here to say I do not need any more stories about where you have seen one or how they like to crawl in such and such places. I just don't. So do NOT leave me a comment with any sort of information. Thank you!! Ok, now...go pray for me. I need it!!

9 comments:

Chanda said...

Oh Amy - so sorry! I didn't realize you were so scared. I'm guilty of telling you a story of the scorpions out here (sheepish grin). It sounds like you have a bona fide phobia! I will be praying for you sister! Thank the Lord for exterminators and their chemicals! ;-)

M Holly said...

Maybe you could let those chickens roam free. They'll surely eat them all up! IF, that is, something doesn't eat THEM up!

Mama Brown said...

Oh, Amy. Randy is sitting here begging to make an obnoxious comment, but I will defend you in your weakness and not let him...Oh dear - he won't leave me alone and can't stop laughing! he's on his own - I will not be a part of this cruelty. I understand completely - I have an awful phobia that evokes similar emotions! But there is hope in Jesus!!

Naomi said...

Phobias are awful!! I have one about flying and I have to fly back to the states next Monday!! I am already have cold sweats and feel sick!!

Hey maybe you should consider moving to England... we do not have such critters like that here!!! :)

Wife of the Pres. said...

You are not alone in this I'm sure. I've never seen one in person, so no stories from me. BUT I am scared of anything that crawls unless it is outdoors. Not to this level of fear, but I do check under the sheets at night. C thinks I'm being over-cautious!

I will say that my Dad has panic attacks (not from fear of scorpions), but it sounds kind of like what you experienced and it is very scary for him. It is a very real feeling not just in your head as people like to tell him. I believe God will bless you for sharing and being vulnerable in that way.

Bless your sweet heart! Hugs!

These are the days... said...

I'm like that with snakes, Amy. No one understands how deep my fear goes. I took the kids last week to the Fort Worth zoo with some of Scott's family. I saw a snake while riding the train. I turned into a pile of mush and they all thought it was funny. I had to leave early because yelling "snake" and watching me turn white turned into a game. So I'm right there with you. But I do have to say, at least you instinctively protected your babies. When Gracen was first born and Luke was 3, I had this crazy fear that a snake would get into the house and I wouldn't have the sanity to scoop them up and climb on top the tallest piece of furniture. Hope that bug spray keeps working for you and those awful things stay away!

Mimi Martin said...

You are such a good writer! Sorry I found it so amusing, had tears in my eyes from the chuckling. I feared snakes that way until Jesus took over, and then in dreams I tore the snakes' heads off. When I read, "Satan you are under my feet." I thought, but what if it stings you?! LOL

Amy Woods said...

MIMI!!! That was not nice!!

Jenn said...

It's been FOREVER since I've visited your blog! I need to come back more often!

I have to tell you I know EXACTLY how you feel! Scorpions have the same affect on me. They are just so stinkin' evil looking. I hyperventilate when I see one and then can't get them out of my mind even when they are gone. The worst feeling in the world is when you see one disappear under the baseboard. Oh. My. Goodness. The house is not fit to live in anymore.

Okay...just thinking about them gives me the willies. I'll be praying for you! :)

Blessings,
Jenn