Ok, so maybe I DON'T like living in the country...

I've hesitated to write this post. I guess I was worried that if I actually put it in print then it did indeed happen. But the fact I haven't taken off my shoes in 24 hours tells me that it did. It did happen. Let me give you a little background. Back when the kids were young we lived in Abilene, TX. Brian and I went to college there and moved back there when we were doing our payback time with the military. But that's neither here nor there and really has nothing to do with this story. Anyhoo, when we lived there 3 of my kids were 4ish, 2ish and like 8 months old. I could calculate it but its late and I just need to get this out. Anyway, we were all sitting on the floor in the living room when I saw a scorpion crawling on the carpet very near my babies. I FREAKED!!! I didn't realize this but I have an EXTREME phobia of those things. Not like..."Oh. Those are gross. Ew." I mean like hyperventilate freak out. I grabbed the closest thing to me which was a dumbbell and cremated that thing. But then proceeded to absolutely freak out. I remember calling the exterminator who knew me well and he made a special Saturday house call to spray again. Well, whatever. Cause it didn't work. There were more. I would not let any of my kids walk around without shoes on and I'm pretty sure I didn't sleep for the rest of our time there. I'm really not kidding. Brian about had it with me. It got so bad that Brian contacted a counselor for me to see who went to our church. I went to him a few times but when he told me that he would eventually put me in a room with a live scorpion, I bailed. I did. I mean, y'all. This is like a real live phobia. Anyway, we moved to the DFW area and those scorpions were all but a memory to me. Until yesterday. Oh, yesterday. How I wish I could do it all over again. I was getting ready to leave the house around noon and I realized that I had forgotten to feed the dogs. So I let them in and went and got their bowls. I came back in the kitchen and thought I saw a twig on the ground so I bent down to get it when I saw that it was in fact a scorpion. Dead. But a scorpion, none the less. I'm pretty sure I blacked out about then but I do remember LOTS of screaming. And Brian with the kids running into the kitchen to see what happened. When Brian realized what it was I'm sure he ran straight to the phone book to look up the closest mental hospital. I couldn't quit screaming y'all. It was awful. Brian got rid of it but I was completely done with life at that point. Couldn't calm down. Brian told me to call the exterminator(who by the way had just been at my house 5 weeks ago. When I first hired him we were deciding how often he should come he asked me how tolerant I was of bugs. Without telling him my issue I told him not very so he now comes quarterly) and I left a frantic message on the machine. Praise the Lord, I already had plans to be out of the house for the rest of the afternoon so I sort of calmed down while I was out. But the second I stepped back through the door, the fear crept back in. I was praying constantly....and was ok. Brian was gone with the kids to a movie and about a minute after they got home the exterminator called me back. He proceeded to tell me that the fact it was dead was a good sign that the treatment was working....that he didn't realize that I had such a phobia....that it probably crawled through a crevice and got in the spray he had sprayed...that he didn't need to come do an emergency break through treatment....all stuff that should make me calm. But it didn't. I went to tell Brian what he said and I found myself hyperventilating and sobbing. I was so mad and trying so hard to get control but I couldn't. You see...scorpions to me are not just an earthly nuisance. They invoke such fear in me it becomes spiritual. I was mad that I let the enemy make me afraid this way. I was mad that I couldn't just make myself NOT be afraid. Just MAD!! Anyway, after a good cry and asking the Lord to intervene I found myself not being so petrified. I wouldn't take my shoes off but I walked around my house speaking out loud(hope that doesn't offend anyone) that satan was under my feet and would NOT win. I would not give way to anxiety and fear. I wish I could say that I'm completely ok....I'm not. But I'm going to be. The Lord has made me MORE than a conqueror, as my sister reminded me. I'm just saying now...I will not live in fear!!

So some funny parts of this? Well, lets see. When Brian was trying to help me think rationally about this last night he said..."Whats the worst thing that would happen if one DID sting you?". I proceeded to tell him that I would probably die of a heart attack and he would be left to raise the kids on his own. I'm not dramatic!

And why is it when you tell people about a fear you have they think its an open door to tell you the experience they've had with what you are fearful of. My exterminator did that. People. I'm just here to say I do not need any more stories about where you have seen one or how they like to crawl in such and such places. I just don't. So do NOT leave me a comment with any sort of information. Thank you!! Ok, now...go pray for me. I need it!!